5 Ways I Got Through a Divorce

Well Hello Sunshine,

I’ve recently had some close friends express that a) back in spring they were concerned with how I would handle going through my divorce and b) that at times some thought I was masking my pain and wasn’t truly healed (aka faking my happiness).

...and I just decided to be happy again.

…and I just decided to be happy again.

I was surprised to hear this and also thankful.
:Surprised to have such amazing friends that are so honest with me.
:Thankful for friends that make me think about how I got to where I’m at today.

Their concerns reminded me of the times going through my divorce that I just wanted truth.

To hear it, read it, see it….anything that I could relate to. But, I had a hard time finding the raw, honest truth. So, this very-personal post is from my heart to yours. Whether you’re a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger, I hope my story can somehow help you in yours…

So here’s how I got to where I am today.
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have faith bigger than your fears

faith bigger than my fears

have faith bigger than your fearsLately I keep seeing picture-quotes about “having faith bigger than your fears” and they always make me so happy. Why?

1. It sounds so simple, so wise.
2. It seems romantic.
3. It’s exactly what I need to do.

1. Faith v. Fear | Great wisdom, but wait… 

In church the other day, the pastor pointed out these definitions:

fear: the belief that something unseen will come true
faith: the belief that something unseen will come true

I was confused for a while until I learned the difference. Faith is having absolute trust that God’s plan will work out as it’s meant to be (including timing).

2. Yes please to romance.

For some reason I hear this quote about faith and I just picture this incredible future, full of joy and love and confidence that everything will be okay. Not perfect, I know that…but it will be as it was meant to be.

And, if possible, I don’t want fear to get in the way.

3. I need to quit the drama and be done living each day in fear.

Ugh, here we go: my insecurities about my body, my anxiety about things being out of my control, worrying that I’ll get my heart broken again, etc.

My fears are getting in the way of a joyful future (see #2). It’s heavy to carry around and I don’t think faith and fear can coexist. So, I need to ditch one.

Over & Done, It’s Not Me, It’s You…

Dear Fear,

I’ve had enough. The only person that is going to let my past ruin my future is you. So, I have to let you go.

I choose faith. I choose to be happy. I choose to believe in God’s plan (and timing). I choose to believe so deeply in what’s to come that I won’t allow you to get in my way.

So that’s it. I’m breaking up with you and starting a new romance with faith. And, I decided this, um… this morning when I woke up.

Xo, Melanie

P.s. I’m already living with faith… too soon? Too bad.

Insta-Brave?

As much as I wish I could.. I’m not saying I’m instantly SuperWoman (although I love her style). Rather, each day I’m going to try to be less fearful.

Instead, I’ll be more faithful. More confident. More relaxed. More trusting. More brave. So as my faith grows, my fears will fade.

And, I’m ready… Shall we?

love your life

losing who you are…

I’ve had a lot of conversations in the past few months with friends regarding people “losing themselves,” being defined by whatever is going on in their lives… children, animals, fitness, etc. Conversations, social media outlets, photos…they all so accurately reflect our current fascinations.

And these expressions seem to really gets on people’s nerves for some reason.

Somehow, I find myself really defensive when this topic comes up. It’s probably because I know it’s something I do as well… dating, my dog, marriage, running, divorce, God…you name it. I quickly let my identity be overtaken in the excitement of whatever new chapter is upon me.

Guilty as charged.

Their Highlights v. Your Behind-The-Scenes

I post tons of photos of my dog and talk about him all lot. I feel guilty after I post a photo from a run but I just want to share the beauty along my path. And, honestly I don’t like feeling bad about it.

Nor do I want to feel guilty not blatantly posting the bad in my life. I believe in good energy and don’t want to bring others down for no reason. So, while I’m not hiding any secrets, I still remember to never compare my life with other’s, and vice versa.

But why is this so bothersome to some?

I can’t quite figure it out.

Are you obsessed because you’re posting baby photos to your Facebook feed (or dog photos <–guilty)? Have you lost yourself in your relationship because your profile picture is you and your partner (rather than just you)? Are you vain for posting fitness photos on Instagram?

No.

I’m realizing that it doesn’t mean you’re losing yourself at all.

Rather, you’re finding yourself in your present journey.

It’s defining the person that you are today, your passions, loves, and struggles. It’s being present in the moment, regardless of what others think about you. It’s embracing your beliefs and simply, embracing you.

And, it’s sharing your life with the world.

So cheers to loving the life you live, and letting other’s lose their way onto their newest path,

Xo Melanie

love your life